Grief In Dogs And Cats

by Deb Haines

Grief ; Don’t Rush Your Pets Process, Have Patiences

When your dog or cat loses their favorite companion, buddy or playmate, it’s normal for them to go through a period of grief/mourning. By trying to understand the signs of grief in your pets and knowing what to do to ease your companion’s pain can help both of you through the loss of a beloved pet. Our pets cannot tell us what they’re thinking and feeling, We as their caregivers/pet parents can only go by their actions/behavior.

Our pets/animals don’t understand death the same way that we do. They live in the moment, They do not know there will be a tomorrow. When your home is dealing with the loss of a pet, everyone grieves in their own way. This is just as true for your pet as for you and the other people in the home. For this reason, there is no “one size fits all” approach to helping your pet through the loss of a companion.

Following the death of a beloved pet, other pets in the household may exhibit changes in their behavior consistent with grief such as decreased appetite, decreased motivation to play or engage in their normal activities, disrupted sleep, changes in peeing/pooping behavior, pacing, panting, vocalizing, restlessness, searching for the deceased pet, they can show anxiety, depression. Changes may vary between individuals pets and may be indicative of grief and/or medical problems so seek veterinary advice if you notice any issues.

Signs of grief in surviving animals

Behavioral changes: Lethargy, restlessness, pacing, and social withdrawal are common.
Appetite and eating habits: Some animals may eat less or more slowly.
Sleep patterns: You might notice changes like sleeping more or disrupted sleep patterns.
Vocalization: Increased vocalization, such as meowing or howling, can occur.
Searching: Surviving pets may search the house for the deceased animal.
Clinginess or affection: Some animals may become more affectionate or clingy, while others may show less affection.
Anxiety: Anxiety can manifest as excessive licking or suckling on objects.

How To Help A Grieving Pet

Maintain routine: Stick to your pet’s normal feeding, grooming, and sleeping schedule as much as possible to provide stability.
Allow them to see the deceased: If it’s an option, letting the surviving animal see and smell the deceased companion can help them understand the loss and reduce searching behaviors.
Be a source of comfort: Respect your pet’s cues for attention. If they seek more comfort, provide it, but don’t force unwanted attention.
Provide extra engagement: Offer more opportunities for exercise and play, which can be good for both of you.
Address your own grief: Animals are empathetic and can pick up on their owner’s sadness, so try to remain calm in front of them.
Consider professional advice: If your pet’s grief is severe or they show signs of depression, please consult a hands on veterinarian or animal behaviorist.

Note…Be cautious of well-meaning advice /thoughts to purchase immediately or adopt another pet to replace the lost animal companion. This can make matters worse by increasing stress for your remaining pets and yourself also, particularly if the new pet turns out to not be compatible with your remaining pets. A common mistake is to introduce a full of energy puppy or kitten whose energy may be unwelcome while you and your pets are grieving. We need to respect this and the pets individual needs and ways of grieving.

My Own Little Story I Would Like To Share With You

I have a farm with multiple species of farm animals, I had to have my beautiful 30 year old horse “Lena” euthanized due to cancer, she also was blind. Over the past 2-1/2 years this horse bonded with a 24 hour bottle baby bull calf I took in due to the farm it was at the mother rejected the calf. To make a long story short this calf, I named “Rip” has grown into a 2,000 lb bull, I thought if something ever happened to the bull this old horse “Lena” would be lost, even though there is a sweet, funny donkey ( “Scooter” ) out in this pasture also, well, it was quite the opposite. This big bull became so depressed mourning “Lena’s” death it pulled on my heart strings something fierce, my bull “Rip” would lay constantly on her grave since the death for 4 days giving out contant big “bellows” then small “moo’s” until he was exhausted, Rip would eat very little ( very unusual) He then walked fence lines yellowing out to the numerous goats and to the guardian dogs and then back to her grave once again. I was unable to get little sleep those past 4 nights, I decided at 3am morning of 5th day to have what I thought was a foolish moment of going out on a cold night in the dark and taking a small speaker out in the pasture and playing soft music ! Thinking so silly what am I trying to do ? It turned out what i thought was a crazy thought, turned into a wonderful helpful tool, it distracted ‘Rip” giving his constant “bellows” and “moo’s” a break. I was also able to get him to eat and drink a little after a few hours, this was progress! It turned out it was company, distraction in the middle of a dark, silent night.

The next day I sat with him and played more music and decided to hang the speaker in the tree by my horse Lena’s grave where “Rip” still choose to lay on day 5. By late afternoon I observed out in the pasture, Rip is now grazing away from Lena’s grave and the distraction is helping.

My point is have patience with your pets, spend time with your grieving pet and get creative if need, run with your foolish thoughts, watch what your pet reacts to and give time to go through the process. This has helped me also by dealing with the loss of Lena by helping my bull “Rip” and I know now we are both going to be ok, I have beautiful memories of my of “Lena” and a continuing journey with “Rip” the bull.

Please remember, Grief is painful, and coping with the loss of a pet takes time for both you and your other pets. But by being there and helping your pet through the mourning/grief, you also can start on your own path toward healing as well. We do not own love or grief, all we can do is go through the process, the journey. Animals give us many, many gifts and all we as humans have to do is open our senses and our hearts to these valuable life lessons. We can learn so much about ourselves when we recognize the treasures, the gifts that our pets and other animals freely offer to us, when we take the time to learn about their lives. Grieving can say so much about the character of individual species. Here’s some interesting knowledge below about other animals I thought you might enjoy.

Interesting information for you

Observed Grief Behaviors Across Species

Scientific research and anecdotal evidence document a wide range of grief-like behaviors in various animals:

Elephants have been observed gathering around the bones of deceased herd members, touching them with their trunks, and staying by the bodies of the recently dead for days.
Dolphins and Whales have been known to carry their deceased calves on their backs or push them through the water for days or even weeks.
Primates like chimpanzees and gorillas show profound distress, with mothers sometimes carrying their stillborn infants for weeks. Young chimpanzees may become lethargic, withdrawn, and even die of grief after losing their mothers.
Birds such as magpies and crows have been observed engaging in “funeral” gatherings around a deceased member of their group.
Domestic Pets (dogs and cats) often show significant behavioral changes after the loss of an animal companion.